Ways to Discipline a Child

How Do You Approach Discipline?

There are many ways to discipline a child.

Some are based on kindness and guidence, and some are based on force.

Earlier, we looked at what discipline was all about, and tips on how to discipline children.

Now were taking a look at the ways to encourage children to follow the family rules.

And you can't do that without looking at the importance of consequences.

Consequences

Learning that our actions have consequences - sometimes good, sometimes bad - is an important life lesson to learn.

Taking ownership and bearing the brunt of negative consequences is an important part of child discipline.

Consequences may result naturally from a child’s actions or may be imposed by the parent. For example:

• You may stop a child and when they are playing in a way that is not safe and put them in Time Out or have them play by themselves until they calm down.
• A consequence may result directly from the problem where a child has made a mess and then cleans (or helps to) it up.
• A child may have to suffer not being able to find toys in an uncomfortable and messy room for a while if they have pulled everything apart and dumped it on the floor – of course, they will help to pick everything up and put it away.
• In older child privileges may be taken away.

Make sure the consequence is not overblown in relation to the problem. If you ban TV for a month for walking mud through the house, you may find your child decides to get his money’s worth and brings a bucket load in.

It should go without say that the consequence should never endanger your child’s safety or health.

The good advice here on how to discipline using consequences is to keep them short and quick.

Using 'Time Out'

'Time out' means stopping your child and moving them away from whatever is happening that is unsafe or causing problems and putting them somewhere else.

It can be a very effective tool in how to discipline your child.

For example, your 6 year old may not want to share his toys, starts shouting and punches his friend in the shoulder. You walk in and separate the kids. State firmly that “we do not hit our friends” and taking your child by the hands lead him firmly to another room. You get down to his eye level and say something like “you are in Time Out for 6 minutes. When you come out you will share your toys with your friend”. Set a timer if you need to. It’s important to stick to the time limit.

• The time limit is advised to be one minute for each year of your child’s age.
• If it is a new concept for your child and they break Time Out you will need to catch them and put them back. The clock starts again.
• Time Out does not need to be a specific room or place. It can be anywhere safe, and preferably quiet, that removes the child from whatever activity is causing a problem.
• The idea is to give them (and you) a moment so they can calm themselves down.
• For young children, less than 3 years of age, just remove them from the situation but keep them near or in sight. Hold them if it helps them to calm down.
• Time Out can be very effective for older children. It gives everyone the chance to quieten down. It catches situations before someone gets hurt or embarrasses themselves. It also provides a consequence for unacceptable behavior and gives older children time to think about the way they behaved and what they need to do to change.

Putting Yourself in “Time Out”

Sometimes its possible to get so angry and upset by your child’s actions that you may feel yourself losing control. (Look at advice on smacking children here.)

The best course of action is to go into another room or go outside for a few minutes and sort out your own feelings.

It’s important to make sure your child is safe first. When you have cooled down enough, rethink the issue and if at all possible let it slide. If not, follow through with the consequences when you are in control.

You are full of creative ideas!

Don’t be hard on yourself if you suddenly find that you are confused on how to discipline your child.

Child behavior can alter in a very short span of time. What worked one week may not work the next!

It's always a challenge to work out how to discipline from a place of love not frustration, but that's what keeps parenting interesting, right?!!

The good thing is that parents are full of creative ideas and can always come up with another way of distracting, or teaching, or guiding their children.

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