How To Stop Your Toddler Biting

Toddlers and Biting

It is a truly horrifying thing to find your toddler biting another child.

Generally, your toddler is a sweet, good natured little playmate.

Ok, so they may be as stubborn as a mule and throw themselves on the ground with all the skill of a ham actor, but generally, they don't try to tear hunks off whoever is closest without warning.

So, why do they do it?

The first thing you need to know is that toddlers and biting is a common behavior.

The second thing you need to be clear on is that biting is completely unacceptable and a strict "no biting" rule should be standard in your house.

The Biting Child

Children bite for a variety of reasons.

It's a behavior that is can show up in babies and very young children, but usually stops during the toddler years as children become better able to express themselves.

Of course, your good parenting skills come into play here as you show your toddler that biting is not to be tolerated.

Young children bite because their mouths are very much a part of their communication. They pop things into their mouths to feel the texture and explore. They chew and chomp on anything they can get their hands on. If they are frustrated or angry, then they bite.

The toddler years are noted for their spectacular tantrums and stubborn "Me do it!" moments.

A toddler may find it much simpler to bite a playmate then to analyze the complicated social rules he or she is learning and then turn that into speech.

Good Parenting Skills

Here's some simple, practicle parenting advice on stopping toddlers biting:

• React immediately. Be very firm, but remain calm.
• Unlatch your child. Get down onto their level. Look them in the eye and say "No biting!"
• Check that the victim is ok, comfort them and make sure their parent or carer knows what has happened.
• Make sure your child sees how much they have hurt the other child. Ask your toddler to apologize but don't expect too much - they may be too emotional, or they may not know what to say. Give your own apology so your toddler learns how it is done.
• Remove your child from the situation. If you are out at the park or visiting a friend, then it's time to leave. Be clear to your toddler why you are leaving. "You bit Katie. No biting allowed. We are going home. We will come back another day when you are better behaved."
• If you are at home or somewhere you can't leave, then remove your child to a time out chair or a place away from the action. Again, be clear and firm in the way you speak to your child. "You bit me. No biting allowed. You will stay here until you are quiet and can play nicely." Make sure you only leave them for 2 or 3 minutes and then assess whether they are calm enough to come out of time out.

Please do not smack your child for biting. Spanking children does not teach them anything. Read more about smacking children here.

Follow Up Toddler Biting

Your toddler may respond very quickly to the suggested actions listed above.

However, some toddlers find the "No Biting" rule hard to follow.

Be reassured knowing that biting kids is a phase all children go through. With consistent discipline on your part, your toddler will stop it in time.

You may find using some simple books like Teeth Are Not for Biting and No Biting! help you to get your message across.

Be on the look out for situations your toddler finds frustrating and help them to find other ways to get their point of view across other than biting.

You will find more parenting advice about toddlers biting in Positive Discipline for Preschoolers and The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Both books are highly recommended for your parenting library.