Teen Sex Education

Don't Leave It To Your Teen To Find Out By Themselves

How do you feel about teen sex education?

Do you think teens are better off not knowing anything at all about sex until they are adults?

Or do you feel it's a natural part of life and should be discussed openly?

Regardless of your beliefs on teenagers and sex, I'm sure you would agree that ignorance doesn't provide any protection for our kids.

Unfortunately, we can't control every moment of our kid's lives, and sex is all around us.

Ignorance Doesn’t Give Protection

Teen sex education opens up a minefield of emotion with many parents.

Sometimes parents think that talking to teenagers about sex is the same as giving them permission to go ahead and experience it.

Just remember:

• Having knowledge and understanding is more likely to result in more confidence in making safe decisions, and in deciding to wait for the right time or partner.
• Parents may put off talking about sex with their teen thinking they aren’t old enough or it’s not the right time. The problem is that a parent will always believe their teen is too young and suddenly it may be too late.
• It’s not uncommon for teenagers to experiment when they are still very young. Children have a natural curiosity about their bodies. They need to be educated about sex so they will know what is going on.

The old myths still do the rounds with gullible, ill-informed teens:

• You can’t get pregnant the first time.
• If you jump up and down after sex you won’t get pregnant.
• Plastic wrap is as good as a condom.

These silly beliefs were doing the rounds last century when I was a teen, and they still persist today!

Can you see why good information is important?

Give them clear, direct advice.

If you say “You must use protection”, they may think all they have to do is pray or align their chakra.

Be specific. If you meant “Use a condom”, then say it.

Teen Sex Education: What Should They Know?

They should know that having a sexual relationship is not just about a physical act.

• It involves feelings and strong emotions as well and so maturity and respect need to be developed first.

• They need to think about the responsibility involved in keeping both themselves and their partner safe and healthy. For example, they need to be mature enough to practise safe sex and birth control.
• They should understand that sex can result in pregnancy. Are they mature enough to take on this possible responsibility, too?
• They should form an idea on what their own values about sex are. This may involve things like: “Do I believe in sex before marriage? Do I believe it’s important to have a really good friendship first? Am I going to wait until I’m X years old?”
• They should know what the local laws and regulations are for the age of consent to have sex.
• They should know that it’s a normal part of being a human and not something that should be shameful. They should feel comfortable with their own body.
• They should have a good understanding of how reproduction works, how their body works, hygiene and sexually transmitted diseases.
• They should have a good understanding of birth control. Have an opinion on whether it is something that fits in with their beliefs and values, and understand that their partner may have very different beliefs, values and expectations.
• They should understand ‘safe sex’ and why it is important.
• They should understand their rights and the rights of others. That they do not have to tolerate abusive behaviour or anything that makes them feel uncomfortable physically or mentally.
• They need to have the confidence to say ‘No’.

Your Rules on Teenagers and Sex

Have a think about your own attitudes to sex and set up some rules and boundaries with your teenager.

You need to be aware that banning your teenager from having sex does not mean that they will obey.

Know what your country's laws say about the age of consent for sexual intercourse. Does your 18 year old know he may be breaking the law if he has sex with his 15 year old girlfriend?

At what age do you allow your son or daughter to start dating without supervision?

Be clear on what is acceptable in your own home. Is it ok for your son’s girlfriend to visit him in his room with the door shut? Or to stay the night?

A teenager who is pregnant or has a sexually transmitted disease is already dealing with some serious consequences. You can be supportive without condoning the behavior.

So while the topic of teen sex education may make you feel uncomfortable, you can see why it’s important to get over your own misgivings and guide your teen as you do with everything else they encounter.

Talking to Teens

Teen sex education is best based on a dialogue, not a lecture.

We need to listen as well as give advice and information. With our greater wisdom and experience it's easy to launch into lecture that will probably just go in one ear in out the other.

Communication between you and your teenager is of enormous importance. Take the time to get it right.

Read more here...

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