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Talking to TeensAre You Speaking The Same Language?No...And Yes! All the information here is commonsense stuff. You may do all or some of it already. Of course, sometimes we need reminders to do what we know is right, especially if things aren’t going as well as we’d like. There are 3 big steps you can take to making it easier for your teenager to talk to you.
1. Be Available and Easy To Talk To
Take the time to listen when your teen has something to say to you.
Your teen will make mistakes or do things you’d rather they didn’t. When they need to tell you about something difficult or bad:
2. Listen to Your Teen
3. Don’t Pick at Every Little Thing
Your teenager is their own person.
They will do things their own way; have their own interests and beliefs and opinions. Often these can seem so far from your own that it is infuriating. As long as the house rules and rules on safety and morals are adhered to, it’s best to back off on the non-important areas and let them find their own way. Teenagers tend to feel parents are always trying to control them and nag them. Sometimes they are right. If something they have done, or not done, upsets you, think about why you are upset. Try to be objective and take the emotion out the situation. “Sally just slouched off to her room without clearing the table. Taking the emotion out we are left with “Sally left the table without clearing the plates away.”
It’s hard to not just blow up. But, have a go at breaking it down, and letting the unimportant things slide.
Don’t expect to achieve it every time. You’re only human.
Just try for some of the time.
A Word on Nagging
Put some work into your relationship with your teenager and continue to enjoy your time together. Keep talking to teens and taking part in their lives.
Nagging has a very detrimental effect on any relationship, particularly when you are talking to teens. Be clear with your teen that you will not nag them, that you trust them to do the chores they have agreed to do, get themselves ready for school, etc, without nagging but that it is their responsibility to follow through or face the consequences. For example: If your teen doesn't get the garbage out in time for collection and it was an agreed chore of theirs, don't nag them about it. Point out that the job wasn't done and that you expect them to do it next week or, as agreed, they will be losing time on the computer.
Let's Keep Talking
Topics Related to Talking to Teens:-
The Angry Teenager:- Looks at dealing with conflict and anger with your teenager. Teen Anger:- Looks at anger management. How to control your own and how to help your teen with theirs.
The Happy Teen:- How to keep a good relationship with your teen.
Return from Talking to Teens to Parenting Teens
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Search This SiteFree NewsletterCaring for ParentsYou put a lot of work into caring for your kids, but who's looking after you? It's time to put yourself first for a change. It needn't break the bank, you don't even have to leave the house if you don't want to! Just take some time to pamper yourself.
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Parenting Quote![]() Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.
~Virginia Satir, The New Peoplemaking, 1988
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