Spanking Children
Tired Of Using The Same Child Discipline Techniques With No Improvement?
Once you start spanking children as a way of discipling them, there really isn't anywhere else you can go.
You've pretty much just jumped straight from the bottom rung of punishment right to the very top in one simple slap.
So where does that leave you if your slap doesn't work?
Do you spank your child harder? Grab a belt or wooden spoon to help your message to sink in?
It's a very ugly scene, and really, it can be avoided.
Here is What Else You Can Do
- Foster a good relationship with your child.
- Teach and show what you want from your child and praise your child when they get it right.
- Avoid being a dictator using “No” and “Don’t” all the time. Try distracting your child or offer alternatives (for example, “take your ball outside to play with”).
- Let your child experience consequences for their behavior.
- Take notice of your child’s good behavior and ignore as much of the bad as is safe. A lot of minor bad behavior stops if no one reacts to it.
- Talk to your child respectfully, just as you expect to be spoken to.
- Go back and read the section on how to discipline a child for more ideas.
It’s up to you how you parent your children.
Just take a moment to think about the good advice on alternatives to spanking children.
While you are at it, take a look at James Lehman's Total Transformation® program.
If you are at the point where you are spanking your children and just don't know where else to go with it, then you'll really benefit from the practical ideas and plans they provide.
They offer a free trial period, so if you find it doesn't suit your family you can pull out at no cost.
My Own Experience With Smacking Children
I've only slapped my daughter a few times in her life. Each time I was angrier than I should have been, and each time, while I felt a nano-second of relief, it did nothing to help my daughter to understand what I wanted from her.
In fact it started her on a habit of slapping me every time she felt upset. Took a while to set that one right.
I feel very strongly that adults should lead by example. You can't very well enforce a "no hitting" rule if you break it yourself on a regular basis.
This doesn't mean that your child is free to get away with anything. "Time out" and warnings work really well with my daughter so I use them instead.
Generally, I know that if I've reached the point where I'm on the verge of putting her across my knee, then it's time to really look at what is going on, and something has to change.
Maybe we both need "time out", or a change of scene. Sometimes, if I'm truthful, I find that the problem is me. I'm cross or tired and am "picking" on everything my daughter does. There's no way she can win in a situation like that.
I might be feeling overwhelmed by trying to cook dinner in a rush - time to switch to cheese on toast or something from the freezer.
I might be suffering from "Poor me, I have to do everything around here" syndrome - time to give myself a treat.
I might have been going flat out all day and my little girl is tired of being good for no attention - time to snap out of it. Will the house fall down if I don't fold the washing right now? Time to stop and sit and cuddle, read a book together or kick a ball around for a while.
I'm not perfect. I scream and yell, rant and rave. But I don't smack or belittle. If things are really horrible, then I just ride it out as best I can and try for a better day tomorrow.
With consistant care, the days do get better as your child gets older and more able to understand how to behave.
If you reach the stage where nothing seems to work and you'd love a helping hand to get back on track, then I recommend you try James Lehman's Total Transformation® program.
It's easy to follow and will suit you if you are a parent (or Grandparent) of young children or teenagers.
So what do I think about spanking children?
Don't set your relationship with your child back by smacking - communication not retaliation!
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