Self Identity
Is Your Self Identity Missing?
"Who am I?"
Can you really lose your self identity? I think you can.
Sometimes we can feel so disconnected from ourselves that we don't even know where to start looking for something to do for ourselves. We don't really know what we like or want to be anymore.
Some self improvement advice never goes astray.
Here's a quick exercise to try to pin down your self identity.
Visit a library or a Newsagency and see what types of books and magazines really grab you.
Are they books on:
- Gardening?
- Art?
- Music?
- Fashion?
- Home decorating?
- Science?
- Finance?
Even if nothing really stands out bring a few books or magazines home and look through them. Sometimes it can take a while for interests to grow especially if your self identity didn't have time to become strong before your family came along.
Take note of what types of shops you really enjoy visiting when you are walking around the streets. Ask your friends and anyone new you meet about what work they do and what hobbies they have.
You can look into what evening classes are offered locally in your area of interest, or you may even find a course online.
Make Jealousy Your Friend
What has jealousy to do with your self identity?
Just bare with me and work through the next few questions and suggestions.
- Are there things you see your friends doing that make you feel envious or jealous?
- We are taught to be ashamed of "envy" and "jealousy". It's time to stop. The real problem with these emotions is when they get out of control and bring bitterness and pain into our lives. Use them as little wake up calls and then let them go.
- Think of it as your emotions guiding you towards an interest you don't want to admit you have, or that you believe you can't do.
- For example, if you are jealous of the beautiful patchwork quilts your friend makes for her home, but believe you hate doing craft, then maybe you only think you hate it. Try machine quilting if hand quilting doesn't interest you.
- If you are jealous of another friend's colorful and vibrant garden maybe you need to take a good look at your own and see what you can do. Ask your friend for advice.
- If you are jealous of the clothes a friend buys with money from her part time job maybe you can use your expanding network to take up some part time work too. Brainstorm your skills and see what type of work you may be suited to and start looking. Don't forget that raising kids gives you loads of experience in negotiation skills, customer service, organization and working to a deadline.
So how do you make jealousy your friend?
Every time you feel that nasty little prickle, stop and take note.
Don't get all eaten up and angry.
Ask yourself why you are bothered and can you do something about it?
Don't let bitterness accompany envy and jealousy and they can become the barometers of your secret needs and guide you to your self identity.
Practice Putting Yourself First
Make a habit of putting yourself first on a regular basis.
We're not aiming for self absorbed indulgence here, just being more mindful and aware of our own needs.
Add these to your 'To Do' list:
Return from Self Identity to the Good Parent
Return from Self Identity to Better Living Ideas
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